I got it...

For the next 2 weeks, from 10-3 M-F I'll be volunteering at these camps and I'm super stoked about it! I will also be volunteering by cutting hair for women who have been in some really tough situations and need a good hair cut and some lovin'.
I can't tell you how amazing the timing is on all of this. I needed something more to keep me going while Beth is out of town and I begin the decent to the finish line. I'm off to run, but can't wait to share stories with you from both experiences!
peace

Wanna know why I love Saturdays?

Because I get to have breakfasts like this...

Egg white omelet with a Morning Star Sausage Patty, Yellow Bell Peppers, Mushrooms, Onions, a small bit of Cream Cheese and Salsa on top, with my favorite sandwich thins!!! Can everyone agree that this is just yummylicious!!! Ok, off to my interview for that volunteer position with Actors for Autism. Wish me luck...

My dear friend Anna

Thanks goes out today to my dear friend Anna Koruba. If you read comments you'll see that she pointed out so perfectly that I forgot to actually speak of my weight loss in the previous day's post and yet waxed so eloquently about it!!! I'm still laughing.

It was a weight loss goal. To get below a certain poundage. I have had it in my mind for almost 10 years that I would never be below that weight again. And, although I'm premature in celebrating my being below that weight, I know it's coming. And like I was saying...I had this switch happen in my brain. Like, woah...something you believed about yourself for SO many years is NOT true. You have everything it takes within you to accomplish whatever you set your mind to Kristen. And I'm not just saying this. I BELIEVE this now. In small ways in some areas, in bigger ways in others. I am starting to have a more realistic ability to see myself as I am instead of as I think I am.

The part that mesmorizes me is how deep this actually was hidden in me. When I spoke of the alligator tears it was because it felt like that shift happened in the essence of my heart. The place I call home. And as I get closer and closer to actually meeting my goal, I am enjoying my home. I am enjoying the now. The present that says...today is another day where you get the opportunity to live fully.

I have 5 weeks left of my 90 day gift. I intend to make the best out of it. I am looking for a place to volunteer my time right now. I have too much of it on my hands and I want to give somewhere. If any of you know of a good non for profit or church or charity or group that could use help with time served, please let me know. I am hoping this one gets back to me. I would love to help at their camp! And I just got an e-mail from their staff asking me to come in for an interview on Saturday!!!

Also...if you need a little kick in the pants or encouragement on living life in the now here's a couple of links I've been visiting and pictures of a couple of people who are giving me hope. (from top to bottom: Sue, Mary Jo, Dad, Luke, John;my trainer and Beth)
Thanks to all of you out there praying for me, visiting my blog and sending good wishes as well as good letters.  Love to you and yours!!!

Tyler Tervooren
this past Sunday's message from Willow
My favorite blog to read

making it my own...

You read all of these amazing books, ok, well I read a lot of amazing books that share with me all sorts of advice and good words of truth and yet often times in my past, I have found myself not making it my own. Reading for reading's sake. No more of this, says the reader. I mean sure...there will probably be a book that finds itself into my hands that I will read for pure pleasure sake, but I'm talking about the learning tool type of books. The ones that are probably listed in the "Self Help" section at BnN or Borders.

*****************tangent***********************************
Today, while weighing in, I lost another 4 lbs. That's not news if you read yesterdays entry, but if not...and you are only reading today's...it's news! And the best part about this news is why you need to read yesterday's entry. And no, this isn't my way of promoting my blog...it's my way of sending you to some good reads.
***********************tangent over*************************************

I appreciate these areas of the bookstore where sometimes people lurk and others hide. I wish I was funnier and could describe in the only way really funny people can this area of the bookstore. I think I may give this to my friend BMac and see what he can do with it. side bar...wow, I'm all over today.

Anywho, back to the topic at hand...I'm all about making it my own. Sponging it up and then letting it drip everywhere I go. Sharing the best bits and pieces with those that have ears to hear. Or something...
Anywho...that's all for today. Going to lay out and read some more!!!

a thought or two

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice." ~Meister Eckhart


I'm amazed that things can happen so quickly sometimes. One day, things are one way, and in a second...things can change. I'm not sure why it's taking me back so much right at this moment, but literally people usually say this when things happen for the worse. Like, in an instant someone gets killed in a car accident. But, I'm talking about the choices we make and how within a moment, a second, things can change for the better.

We do have power over our emotions. We are given self control, the power of choice, truth, others; all things that we can rely on to help us.
I'm very close to meeting another goal, one that I honestly had it in my brain was going to be very very tough to reach...but it's right around the corner. And it creates in me a silence.
it creates a deep sense of gratitude in my belly.
it helps me see a future.
it allows me to breathe better.
it gives me wings.
and the it...is partly me. The reaching of this goal was accomplished by me and I do not know what to do with that. Because it helps me see myself in a way that is different. Someone who can achieve things instead of a failure. And I have lived many years with a squewed perception of myself. That I could do not this. And I am learning SO much. I have learned so much about what it takes for me to achieve goals.
It takes others, being encouraging and accountability to yourself and others
daily focus
commitment
willingness to fail, but belief to get back up
grace
little steps. little goals. big steps. big enough goals.
as the alligator tears fall today in the letting go of a wrong belief and the truth taking root instead, I am so glad to know that we are not finished growing EVER. Greatful to God who began teaching me a lesson a long time ago...be a sponge Kristen Anne. To be a person who is committed to change, learn and grow forever.
For a earthly Daddy who loves me enough to speak truth to me and love me and give me a great gift of time, money and support to reach these goals. I am very blessed.
Thank You Heavenly Father for all of these things!


"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~Melodie Beattie

so that's what it feels like...

that cramping feeling in a muscle that has been overworked and overused in too short of time. 
OUCH!
that "it is well with my soul" feeling of lightness. 
WOW!
the release of surrender that takes your breath away.
SILENCE, AWE!

Weekend pics and videos

This is Matthew and his SUPER cute hair that Megan spikes often! Doesn't he look like his mama? This isn't the best we looked all weekend, but it'll work. Early morning pictures aren't the best for hair!

Grilled chicken, mushroom, grape tomatoes, onions, sweet baby bell pepper and pineapple shiskabobs, served with quinoa and salad.  and lemon merenguepie for dessert which I only had a tiny tiny sliver, but it was enough for me to enjoy the taste. What a blessing it was to have Aunt Sally and Uncle Dick over. Fun to cook and show off the house and have someone else see the hard work I've been doing.

and last but not least a very cute look at the stinky feet/laughing funny video Matty and I made while hanging out Saturday night while Mommy and Daddy were at the wedding! I love little kids and the way they giggle!!!

You always know what I need

God is without a doubt a giver of good gifts. This week while in my therapy session Sue and I talked about the question, Is God good? And if he is, what does that mean. What is God's definition of good?
As I am here in San Diego, 100+ miles away from familiar, at least current familiar circumstances, I am reminded of His goodness in many ways. That beyond our control, He knows what is best for us, and often times when we cannot find it, he brings answers. He answers us. He listens to us. He hears our crys and yet knows the thing behind the thing. That's why I love getting to the bottom of things, because that is where the truth is. That is where our desire is. That is where God is. Smiling.

HE is meeting my needs in ways in which I never would have imagined. Different fun ways. Different hard ways. His ways.

Reconnecting with someone you haven't seen in years, and knowing that Jesus is behind your relationship is like coming home. Seeing Megan, Andrew and Matty has been precious to my soul. Getting to reconnect with my best bud has been beautiful! She's such a giving precious woman who adores God with all of her heart. She is an inspiration to me, full of this rich wisdom that she is teaching her son and in the meanwhile everyone that has ears to hear. I am so blessed to have her as my dear friend. I need to capture a photo with her today for sure and promise to post tomorrow when I get back up to LA.

Went to Old town last night and had amazing carnitas and guacamole at this awesome little authentic mexican restaurant with my cousins.  It was SO much better than Lalo's J! lol They have been so gracious to let me crash at their pad and I really am enjoying getting to know Molli's Noah better. He's a great choice for a husband for her!!!

Today I did a double run/swim training piece and it rocked! I was feeling terribly weak at first on my run, but I overcame by repeating to myself what I know is true. I am a strong runner, who finishes what she starts. What I had, I gave, what I saved I lost forever. Then my run went much better. I even took on two hills, which I haven't done in the past and felt very strong running up them. My legs felt powerful and good! We have incredible bodies...thank God for health!!!

My swim went really good as well. I swam in Molli and Noah's pool at their condo, which is about half the size of 25 meter, so it was strange doubling up all of my laps, but it worked. You make it work! I even did a bit of butterfly just for the fun of it, because it used to be my stroke back in the day. 20+ years ago!!! Failed miserably, but gave it a go...so no real failure.

And now, I'm off to hang out with Matty while mom and dad go to a wedding! I'm just excited to spend time loving this precious little man.

peace my peeps

SLUMPAGE followed by a whole lot of goodness

Today I was in a funk. A deeply rooted, crappy as can be funk. It felt like slumpage, but at this point that's not allowed. NO slumpage for Kristen. So, I gave myself some grace, wrote, cried, thought a lot, prayed and then I was ready to get going. It's funny what motivates people. Today, for me it was two fold. I thought, you will feel better once you get in the gym and get it done. And my brain was correct. My heart didn't say that today. It said, stay in, cry, be good to yourself, but don't worry about the workout. Both were correct. I grabbed my Ozzfest 2007 CD and took off on my bike, got to the gym, went straight to the treadmill and started running. I really like running to hard core guitars and HUGE drum beats. The words didn't matter, because all I heard was blah blah yaya ahhhhhhhhhhhgrugg huff, it was the instruments that kept me going. Man, was that exactly what I needed. And then, I had a great stretching cool down and came home to eat before heading off to Boot Camp @ 6:30. Boot Camp is a little bit harder this week because it's our last of the session and I'm liking the pick me up. Different warm ups, different harder drills, more weights, more combos. John is a rock star and I'm going to miss him. I have about 8 more sessions left and then I'm done. Which should bring me right into the next big huge exciting thing I am happy to share with everyone.
Today I set a couple of different goals for the next 6 weeks or refined my goals to be a little bit more SMART.
Click here to see my goals that were set in the beginning.
1). To lose 40 lbs by Sept. 1st for a better health and well being for Kristen.
addition to this...is # 2. I'm half way there in lbs and half way there with time...things are looking good
2). To lose 40 more lbs. by Feb. 14th, 2011 and maintain that weight for a better health and well being for Kristen.
3). Get to a healthy BMI (I believe it's somewhere in the 19-25 range)
4). To be wearing a size 12 dress, jean, pant, top, etc. by Sept. 1st I'm down to a 14-16 in all things, hoping the next two sizes should come easily
5). Write in my blog or journal everyday, even if only a sentence. things here are on track
6). Read 6 Books to stimulate growth, have fun escape, and enhance brain activity! So far so good. 4 books down, 2 to go...I'll beat this one I'm pretty sure
7. Continue becoming a seperate, self actualized and fully grown up adult. Therapy with Sue remains a highlite of my week. Conversations with Luke, my dad, my mom, my sister, Beth, Blythe and God are all so stimulating. Other things that are totally helping as well are writing in my blog and letters, praying daily, being quiet so often, reading, lack of outside contact, etc. I have been on FB a couple of times, but it's been only very momentary and totally ok. I'm not sure, but living without a cell phone may be in the cards for me. Who knows...we shall see!!!
Oh, but to let you know the big news...Because I have been doing SO well at meeting all of my goals thus far I am totally getting a reward from my Papa!
On August 15th, I GET TO GO TO MONTANA!!!

Now for those of you who know me, this is the best kind of reward. I will spend a week up at the cabin on the lake with my brothers Josh and Robert and if people want to come and see me, then they are welcome, but I will be fishing, skiing, canoeing, water skiing, white water rafting, swimming, biking, running, hiking, playing and relaxing in the hot tub at night to soothe my aching muscles and the loons will sweetly sing me to sleep. Dad just told me an hour or so ago and this gave me even more of a YES motivation than I had before. A reward is always a good thing. I also have something special I am going to be throwing out to all of you next week as a challenge...Until then, I am off to San Diego to visit this gorgeous family of Megan, Andrew and Matty as well as my cousins I spent the 4th with!

Megan is my dear dear friend from college that I met in a computer lab who I haven't seen in 5 years! And this will be the first time I meet her son Matthew and see her pregnant with #2! I am also going to get to see my friend Carolyn Freeman in La Jolla Sunday morning! Oh yay, AND my Aunt Sally and Uncle Dick are coming to dinnner Sunday night! It's a week chalk full of people! Exactly what the doctor ordered for this chica!!!!!

Peace my friends, I'm sure I'll have much to upload and tell you all about on Sunday.

SO....

Today marks a very special day in this journey. Friday was truely the 1/2 way mark but today signifys the 2nd half beginning!
Week 6 of my tri training.
Time to kick it into a higher of a gear.
Re-evaluate the goals.
Claim which tri I will be doing.
Walk more in between work out sessions.
Weight train more.

Boot Camp is over in 2 weeks. So, then what? I am asking the right questions and talking to the right people. So...all is going to be figured out!
1/2 half, you were good to me.
2nd 1/2 watch out...I'm headed your way with a new attitude!!!
off and runnin'!!!

my new quote!!!

Each time I run, I feel like it's becoming more a part of me instead of a hatred deep within my belly. Is this exceptance OR invasion?

Wii Fit

yay, Wii Fit is becoming a favorite thing for me to do when I'm at home and it's super hot out on a day when the gym's not open. I love the measurments and my personal trainer and how it talks to me. John is like that too...I like the encouragment of having others there to cheer me on. Today, Beth came on my run with me like a hero even though she couldn't run due to a leg injury/spasm thing going on with her. She held my water bottle and walked behind me. Today was 40 min. 4m run/1m walk. I held my own with my speed and was feeling great by the end of it. I'm excited that running and I are becoming friends and a welcomed part of my workout routine once again. I can no longer say I hate running. Because I don't.

ha...ha...foiled again Mr. Lay-z!

weight lifting day after

If you ever have lifted weights in high school you know what I am about to discuss. The muscle burn the day after a good weight lifting session. I am excited to be feeling this and look fwd to Monday and my next session. I love that feeling because it is proof that you are actually doing something with the muscle. It's called DOMS, Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness. It's a tiny microscopic tearing of the muscle and then the rebuilding of that same muscle. And today, I'm feeling it in a couple of different areas.
Bam and I are going on a hike today to Griffith Park to see the Hollywood sign up close and see to the stars? As in stars in the sky. I am highly doubtful that we will see much of anything due to the constant light that remains in the LA area. Perhaps I will be proven wrong!?!

Totally hung out with Mark Herring last night! So fun to see my friend after all of these years. We went to this rad barber BOLT Barbers and got Mark's haircut. She did a good job, and I was impressed with her tools, but one side was just a bit longer than the other and she didn't spend a ton of time checking the cut out in the mirror. When I say a ton of time, I mean like more than a seconds glance. I'm so picky about men's haircuts it's silly! Then we, his co-worker Jim, Mark and I went to Cole's for the famous French Dip. Yummy! They had these amazing spicy sweet potato fries!!! Totally broke the training eating last night, but you have to enjoy yourself in moderation as you go. Had an awesome beer too, that tasted perfect with the spicyness of the pickle and fries. After dinner we cruised over to The Edison. This is that club I went to last week with B and her friends. Such the cool place. I really enjoy the post prohibition style of drinks and their menu is phenomenal. Last night they had performers though! All around the club at different times were these performances. The two we watched were from a female contortionist who danced to music on the bar and on stage. She was incredible! I sat and observed that most of the people who were clapping were men. I thought, this is sad. Why can't the women in this room recognize the amazing talent of this woman and clap for her. Strange social behavior for sure.
Then tonight Bam and I went to go see Grown Ups. Thank God for Adam Sandler and his humor. I loved every minute of this movie, as I do most Adam Sandler flicks. I laughed really hard and it made my day.
I'm off to bed. Have a long run in the AM
Love,

Today's Special:A Visit To The Opera 1 of 3

I feel the need to say that there just aren't enough muppets around these days. I don't see them anywhere except old school stuff and that just makes me sad. I stole this from Matt Rittle's FB page and it just made me smile from head to toe... and as I found that one...I also found old kids incorporated videos which was an all time favorite as a child, as well as Pinwheel, Fraggle Rock and HOLY COW...Fergie is Stacy Ferguson from KIDS Inc.!!! I may be totally out of the loop with this, but how fun!!!

BRICK update

So my brick was great. It honestly went very well,especially considering:
-the very gusty winds that were blowing against me on the return part of my bicycle ride
-the large hill I didn't know I was going to have to go up on my unplanned route
-the fact that I forgot my sunglasses and was riding for the first 15 min into the sun
-the extra 10 min I rode because of the wind(today's journey was only timed, not mileage)
-when I was working my transition I left from parking my bike to my run with my bike helmet still on my head,     no hat with me and still no sunglasses(it's super sunny here in Cali)

I was proud that with all of that going against me, I still did it and did it strong.
One down, 5 to go and then the actual deal...a full fledged triathlon! ya baby...bring it on

BRICK

today's temperature is 102. And I have to get outside soon and do my brick. hmmm...I couldn't fall asleep last night for the 2nd night in a row and wasn't able to get up early enough to get it in before my session with Sue and the heat came pouring down. Now, if it was only like 92 out I'd go get ur done, but 102 just isn't safe. So, I will wait for tonight and hope that it cools down before it gets too late out.
My BRICK today includes a 30 min bike, 10 min run, 20 min walk all right in a row. I'm excited to see how the first transition goes. Getting off of the bike, and begin running. How are my muscles going to work?
I'll update later...
Off to read some more about extreme workouts.

Valerie and I

Blog world meet Valerie. She is my best friend and I love her. This picture was taken two days before I came to LA. A very cute picture of the two of us and Elmo, a long time co-friend to the both of us.


It may be a very good before face shot...I'll have to take another one with her when I get home to compare and contrast. Today, she hooked up her webcam and she and I chatted over google chat for about 45 min. It was glorious to see her face and her kiddos faces and hear them talk. What an amazing invention it is. Now don't get me wrong, but I honestly feel like I am in the Jetsons era of living. Ok, fine, Not reallly, but kinda when I'm on there. She's in Rockton Illinois and I'm in Northridge California but I can see her face while I talk to her. View her expressions!!! So cool. Just wanted to share the photo and blogblab for awhile. I need a haircut and color badly!!!

Camera failure

So, I was super excited to go to Weight Watchers today because it's something to do first off, and second because it was a good week. I wasn't sure how much I had lost, but it just felt good. So I lost another 2.8 lbs and am 1 lb away from my first goal! Time to step it up a bit...I love short term goals. Even daily ones. Like, today I will accomplish these three things. I know that for some that's a TO DO list, but for me it's small very short term goals that I can do and celebrate by crossing them off! It's the small stuff that matters often.
On a sad note though, my camera has run out of battery power and the plug is in Chicago. SO, I have to try and find a plug that's not going to cost me an arm and a leg. Because, I don't have arm and leg kind of $. On a happier note, I did land a babysitting gig. For whenever, but it will give me some extra spending $ for necessary items such as the ones we spoke of. Until then, I will have to use my Flip and take snapshots off of it. This is not a bad idea because it captures beautiful pictures and I do appreciate how light and easy to use it is.
Other news...
I was sick yesterday and it was horrible. It was violent! Like the, "Brandon, please DRIVE FASTER to my house or just stop the car I'm going to be sick" type of sickness. And it kept me from going out with BAM last night to the Universal City Walk. Boo! :( it did however afford me three wonderful hours of laying in bed relaxing, talking to Luker, reading and writing letters. That part was fantastic! If you haven't written a real letter lately, and lately here being for most of you the last 6 years, go ahead, try it. You may actually be surprised at how wonderful it can be to write. I love letters! And so, check your mailboxes friends, because one may be appearing in yours sooner than later. And if I don't have your address and you want a letter...just comment below.

One last thing and then I'm off to lay out. California is getting hotter. Like it doesn't get cooler at night hotter. Thank God there is no humidity! Last night the big pooper of being sick other than being sick is that we(Beth my Step Mom(SM for short from now on)and I) cannot figure the dang central airconditioning unit out. It's set to keep the temperature at an even 82. NOT SO MUCH PEOPLE!!! Neither of us slept well last night, so I'm off to take a nap in the sunshine and tan my body. Because tan bodies always look better than not tan bodies in my personal opinion. OR maybe it was the constant reminders of this while growing up. Hmmm? Did anyone else out there have aunts or grandma's that used to say things like this?
"Tan fat is better looking than white fat" LOL :)


over and out

10 miles and a break in procedure

So, I cheated. I broke procedure and signed on to Facebook yesterday. Yes, it's real. And I was amazed to see how little things change, and yet there was hours of "stuff" to look at. I think I spent a whole 25 min on it and did much more than I wanted to, but it's so fun catching up with people and seeing their profile pics and loving them, wanting to comment on them...ect. I have an addiction, I do. It's ok...Hi my name is Kristen and I am a facebookaholic.
It was after my amazing 10 mile bike ride. Now, I don't know if that's a big deal for others and I'm trying to not be in the business of comparing myself but for me it rocked! I cut over 20 min off of my original time last week and had a little mexican angel bless me on the way! I was stopped at a stop light waiting for the cross walk when this guy across the street yells to me.
"Hey!" I'm like, uh oh...please change light. Please change!!!
"Hey. Lady!" CRAP oh Crap
"Your seat's too low." "what?"
"your seat is too low for riding like you are. You need to raise it"
So, thus begins a very helpful lesson on where my bike seat should be to obtain maximum legs useage and two other very helpful tips that I believe were the reason I cut at least 10 min off of my time. The other 10 were because I was hitting it hard.
So, lesson(s) learned...
1).Don't always second guess the what you think is a crazy man on the street yelling at you. Could be entertaining angels unaware.
2). Go back to your goal of staying off of FB for the rest of the summer!

xoxo

what do you do?

Ok Blog world...
I have a question and would love to get you all to post a comment including your answer.
Ya know one of those days where it just seems that everything is making you second guess yourself and stuff? Well, on those days...what do you do to get yourself calmed down?

Feel very free to post any thoughts. They really might help.

Look what I got in the mail today!?!

So, I think I mentioned before my desire to use the lemons in my backyard to make lemoncello. And today the mail man so kindly delivered this package to my front porch! Johnny, my boy wonder, my robin, my good friend from the land of high ABV %'s, thank you SO much! The reciepe calls for either this or cheap vodka. We're going to try both and see which one makes the better base. You cannot but Everclear here in California, so John sent me a bottle from Montana. So sweet!!! I'm very excited to begin peeling my lemons and I'm off to get ur done!!! The video is the finished product of this step in the making of lemoncello. 2-3 weeks from now I will be adding the simple syrup and sending it off to a location near you!
Two names so far for my very own label...
Kristen's Lethal Lemoncello
Kristen's Blinding Potion
Have any ideas...feel free to share.

Brandon and Juan

Oh what joy! What bliss! Today has been an amazing Sunday. Went to this little church called Northridge Christian Church and was blessed by the 12 people worshiping Jesus with their songs, hymns, reading of scripture and tithes. Then, I met Brandon in the parking lot and we came back home to eat some breakfast and head off to the beach. Here's a look at our time together at Hunington Beach...

We left and drove to Santa Ana where we went to Trinity Cristo Rey Lutheran Church to hear "Juan" Fernando Ortega. It was glorious! I cried like seven times. His wife Margee was there with their baby Rubie. He cried when he described the birth story of Rubie and it was precious. Brandon got to see and know the "tender" heart that I see in Fernando. He really enjoyed the concert. Here's a sampling from the show (sorry Fernando if I'm being bad by having taped your amazing voice and piano workings...I truly LOVE you and will buy your latest CD tomorrow. The only one I don't have)

I still pray that one day, I can figure out how to have him play at my wedding.

Peace.

a healthy run

when I woke up today it was already 70 degress out. And so I knew that I needed to get my run in as soon as possible otherwise I'd be out of decent weather to run in. These are referred to as nice days around here. And that just makes me smile.

So, Beth and I had breakfast, let our food settle and went out for my longest run yet: 40 min. She was up for running with me even though her normal pace is a little bit faster than mine and I wasn't sure how I felt about running with another person at first, but boy was I glad once we began to have her there. I like running with another. If you can talk during your run, even in like little blurbs, it's nice to keep the time going. So, off we went on the CSUN track. I started out wearing my running shorts and a big T-shirt that's loose. About lap 4, off came the shirt and I ran in my sports bra. It was SO hot I really didn't mind that my still present little belly was hanging out because when I took that shirt off, it felt like a the weather dropped at least 10 degrees.
Our time on the track was awesome. It's my first time running on a track and I decided that because of the mileage/time today, that it would be better for my first long run. And the shock absorbant track material was really nice to run on. We did incriments of 3-1 today. Next week I start 4-1's and it's going to be a kick in the pants for sure. I like feeling like I'm becoming a stronger runner, swimmer, biker, ect. The funny thing is that as soon as I feel that way, my training schedule ups the ante. It's like playing poker with Mr. Moneybanks from the country club who has nothing significant to lose.
I ran well. And Beth did great! I did have to stop to go to the bathroom and I'm curious to any runner out there, how ones combats this issue. I am trying to get in the right amount of water before I go, but too often I have to use the bathroom when I'm on my run and that's purely annoying. Any ideas, besides the standards answers...drink less, find a bush, ect.
Went to Costco today. I love that place except on Sat. afternoons in LA where people don't say, "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" when they bump into you or cut you off. It was a little insane, but purchased some amazing fruits and vegetables and juice and what not.
Tonight I'm going to a club called  The Edison with Blythe and Karen and Indrek. Should be fun and different! Hard part is drinks in So Cal are like $8 for a standard. Just not used to those expenses!!! So, I'll be having tonic water and maybe a glass of wine. I don't really have club type of clothes with me, but we'll figure something out. I need a night out with friends and strangers and music. So, I'm off to get ready.

Love you all...

Fresh Trout

Man alive did I just have the best lunch! A lady in Beth's PhD class caught a bunch of trout on her vacation and she shared two of them with us. Today for lunch I baked them two different ways.
1). Apples and Onions lightly sauteed with Chicken Stock, Cinnamon, Cayenne Pepper and a little bit of Garlic Salt. Then took that and added it to the fish with 1/2 T. butter and wrapped it all in foil package.
2). Dusted the other trout with basil, oregano, pepper, added other 1/2 T. of butter, lemons, and fresh tomatoes and wrapped it all in foil package.
Served half to Beth and half to me with steamed broccoli and YUMMY!!!

The HUGE lemons from our tree

It's almost as large as my head!

lovin the new layout

Readin':
Boundaries in Dating(again)

Listenin' to:
Antigone Rising
Zac Brown Band
Lady Antebellum
Simon and Ganrfunkel
Gord's Gold: Gorgon Lightfoot
John Denver

Adding Counting Crows to this playlist would make it just THAT much better, but dad doesn't have any on itunes. I may have to change that for the summer!

Watchin':
Gilmore Girls' reruns
America's Next Top Model

Lovin':
All of the growth happenin' in my life right now. Session with Sue was cut short due to Skype issues, but was a big one for me. Feelin' super encouragaed to really start workin' on some stuff I consider BIG.
Obviously usin' the no "g" and placing an apostrophe instead. Perhaps its due to my longin' for back home country folk. Been a bit homesick lately!

It's raining it's pouring

It's yucky weather here in Southern California today with a chance of burn off maybe? I don't know because I haven't checked yet. Today I am going to be working on a first step towards making a long time dream of mine come true. I have always wanted to make a lullaby album for my future nephews, nieces or children. It all began when Nicky was born over 6 years ago. Jimmy(my boyfriend at the time) and I went down to Newburg Indiana to visit my sister and her family for Christmas and we thought it would be fun to sing songs with them and to them. So, Jimmy learned some Christmas carols and two other songs that he and I shared with the family. One of them being, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/Wonderful World" After singing it to them, I thought what a fun neat present to give kids...a collection of songs that are unique but "lullaby-esque"(totally not a word). And for this girl and my love for song, it sounded perfect. So, I began compiling songs, but kind of forgot about laying them down or learning them on a guitar or piano. Well, now I have the time, a vocal teacher who rocks to help me work through them and both a piano and a guitar at my disposal. SO, here goes nothing.
The first step is just video'ing me practicing them so Luke can critique the heck out of them and help me make them sound BEAUTIFUL! Then, we'll see about capturing them on some sort of 8 track or something. I think when I get back home, I will be asking the help of a couple of my friends. Jules, if you are reading this, you know I'll be coming your way!!! You and that amazing brother of yours Michael for sure. I hear your voice in my head as I think about doing this. Your angelic voice blesses my socks off and I miss days of singing together.
Maybe I can get my chorus of men together too, and lay down "you raise me up" while I'm at it. Chicago men...instead of Celtic Women. Anywho...that's a different story for a different day.
Boot Camp today was killer but awesome! 8 mile bike ride later perhaps if it stops raining.

tri training

Ok, so up until now, I feel like I have been pretty positive regarding my training. And I continue to have that positive outlook for sure. HOWEVER, this morning I spent a significant amount of time reading a ton of information on Triathlon Training. Specifically, on each area to make sure I am doing things correctly. It's a lot to take in and as I read about race day I started to cry. Tears fell like rain. And here they are again. I have never done anything like this in my adult life...exercise wise and it's kind of overwhelming to me. In GREAT ways and in woah sort of ways. Reading about race day made it hit home I guess. I was like...HOLY CRAP Kristen, you are actually going to do a Sprint Tri. And so there's a great feeling of, wow...and there's a woah, what in the world are you thinking.
I have to battle the thoughts that come when I speak like this.
-So, it's only a sprint
-That's no big deal
-You've never even run a 5 K, and you think you'll do this?
-Why? I mean really, why?
-You can't do this
But, it does feel like a winning battle right now. The tears are more of the "Way to Go Kristen" side of the coin. The side that knows I have this in me. The side that has cheered on every other person in my life with the belief of a 1000 spectators and cheerleaders all rolled in to one body, this body!
Nick once called me a potential guru. So, as my body works through the challenge of pushing it's own limits, my mind is being worked out as well.
Kristen, support yourself the way you do others.
Believe in you.
You can do this AND you are doing this!
And so, I push on today. Dad suggested that I put into practice a new way of tracking my workouts. It's a points system to make sure I am pushing myself to the best capacity available. Go here to check it out. I need to achieve between 30-50 points a week.
Here goes nothing and everything. Off to the library and then to the fitness center to kick it into high gear! Got a back to back swim/run today!
And then tomorrow is Boot Camp and I will be going to Manhattan Beach again and riding my bike up and down the boardwalk before I pick up Beth from LAX!

love to you all...

another video...

Had a great 4th with Molli and Noah and Manhattan Beach and here is proof:
I went swimming in the ocean, totally got ransacked by the rip tide, dragged under and knees scraped, but then I remembered my how to's of the ocean and did fine! I love the ocean. Seriously it's phenomenal!
Then, the next day I went for a 10 mile ride along the beach/boardwalk. Awesomeness!!! Hope your 4th was terrific.

Because I can...

I thought I'd have a fun go at the changing of my background for the time being. So fun!!! My day will be spent at Redondo Beach with my cousins Molli and Noah tomorrow. Bringing my bike and can't wait to see fireworks and have a nice relaxing day. The weather is supposed to be High 80/Low 57. Seems like perfect Southern California weather to me. I hope your 4th is amazing and let's all remember how AMAZING it is that we have the freedoms we do here in America and make sure keep all of our soldiers, officials, govvernment employees both past, present and future in our prayers and thoughts not just tomorrow, but always!!!
I don't like the whole God Bless America theme personally, SO...God Bless us All.

REI and my feelings on Montana

Oh my oh my oh my...

i am a new member at REI

Today I went to REI to scope out biking shorts, race hats, sunglasses, gels and gummies. And can I just say it was as enjoyable of time as any. I just <3 that store with a lot of love.
i. heart. REI.
that's right folks. I do. Just entering the premise makes me think of nature and the outdoors and Montana and Colorado and rivers and lakes and fishing and... believe me I could go on. But I won't.

And it's fun to see all of the toys one can aquire when one, ME!, if getting into a new sport. Here is the list of WANTS:
-a heart monitor
-a pedometer
-sunglasses that shade and stay on while you run/bike but don't look super stupid
-biking shorts two kinds
-a new bike (don't know what kind yet, because doing this research means I really might get one and I don't have the cash for that yet, except that there is a used sale coming up, ahhh)
-fancy bike shoes
-riding gloves (just because)
I get so carried away, it's like holy kaka...leave now. So, instead I just paroozed over to another section.

Anywho...the joy that being in there brought me must have been contagious, for many a person smiled at me joyfully. It's like happy land for outdoorsy folks. The nice man that rang me up commented on how much he liked my glasses and asked me if I was a member. I said, much to my dismay, "no, I just usually give all of my purchases to my friends card." He told me that today should be the day that I joined. Being in the mood I was already in I agreed. He was a great salesman. His name is Mark and I'll be seeing him at the Used Sale next weekend!!!

 also went grocery shopping today. It really was a condundrum. I am trying to be a smart shopper, a healthier eater, and a earth concious person these days. So, I strut into Whole Foods carrying my reusable bags from like 6 different stores. It was a sight! I had a shopping list of mostly produce, but wasn't quite sure if I would be able to get everything there. Now, let me get this off of my mind. I LOVE grocery shopping! I truely enjoy going down every isle reading things, looking at new products, etc. BUT, when you are learning SO much about food and the different ingredients that go into everything and what to eat, when to eat it, how much to eat, it can get a little overwhelming. It made grocery shopping a chore. And normally, it's NOT a chore for me. I wished at that moment that I had either J or Blythe with me. See, they are already smart shoppers in this arena of Organic/heatlhier eating and know what to get and why. I had to ask myself a lot of hard questions and it made things very interesting. And then, because Whole Foods did not have everything I wanted I went to Albertsons. I feel much more at home in regular grocery stores than in Whole Food type of places. Not to say that I won't go back, because the more you become aquainted, the more at home you feel. I love Trader Joe's but I am still lost there too. The best thing I bought today was Kale and Jicama! Well, those are the newest things I'm trying at least :0)

Last thought for today...

As I was making dinner, I realized that it's July! Holy cow...one month down, 2 to go! Anywho, I flipped over my calendar to July and there was this picture... and it caused me to stop in my tracks and take a deep breath. It may not look that spectacular to you through this picture, but it is! BREATHE KRISTEN, BREATHE. And in real life, I know this pass well. And it made me thankful that I have been there. It made me long for the next time. It made me grin from ear to ear that I will be there soon. It made me think that I am the most blessed woman alive for a moment. That there is such beauty in this world and I have seen it. I have played in it. I have soaked in it's splendor and shared the same air space. And I just had to share. Because as I go out for my bike ride here shortly, I will be pushing myself. One day I want to take my bike up to Glacier and ride it like my old boss and friend Steve does. And this is good inspiration for a late Friday night ride!

A day off

Today is my day off and I'm not sure what to think about that. I haven't really had one of those yet since I began, until today. It's been quite wonderful. Woke up early to cut Beth's hair, totally forgot about my Skype appointment with Sue. It was like a great start to a morning and then BAM horrific. I was really looking forward to my time also. She's a grandma again!!! Sue, that is. I put my bed together today and cleaned my room, spent a lot of time reading and thinking and listening to music. I have a new favorite: Christina Perri
I found her on "So You Think You Can Dance" where she sang this heart thompin' song Jar of Hearts!!!
So tonight I'm going to dinner with Blythe and her hubster at her house.
I'm really missing friends today so it's perfect to be going there.
And then tomorrow morning I have to take Audrey and Beth to the airport. They are headed back to Montana and in a way I'm excited because I have a chance to get back to my own way, but I will miss having people around. I am going to change things up a bit now that I've been here awhile and will be getting into my routine a little grander regarding my training. So, wait to see what happens. Headed to the beach this weekend with my cousin Molli and her hubster Noah for the 4th!!! Should prove to be a GREAT weekend!


peace.